By Joyce Crawford

When Andrew was a baby,
He cried during the day
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew likes to play with lights
He turns them off and on like day and  night
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew lines his cars up in a nice, straight row
Don’t move one, or he’ll say “NO”!!
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Some of Andrew’s cars make sounds,
He likes to watch the wheels go ’round
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew doesn’t like to eat too much,
Only some things, like bacon and such
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Sometimes, Andrew doesn’t talk during play
And he’s learning how and what to say
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

There’s lots of classes and therapy,
Lots of play with teachers and lot’s to see
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

When Andrew goes potty, it’s true
He takes off pants, shirt and even a shoe!
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

When there are lots of kids, Andrew may go off alone,
He has his own special comfort zone,
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew doesn’t like to hug too much
But he gives great smiles and a little touch
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew is our gift from above,
We thank God for him and his love
And That’s okay,
Because we love him more and more each day!!

By Bonnie Malkin Gillman, Founder

I receive inquiries every week from grandparents residing in other states and countries about how to establish a chapter of GAN in their local community.  GAN serves the 34 cities that comprise Orange County, California. Our two websites, www.ganinfo.org  and www.faninfo.org  provide resources to people from more than 80 countries. We share information about our programs, projects and events and we invite grandparents in other areas to replicate them. Our name and logo, however, are copyrighted and cannot be copied.

Establish A Support Group

Here are a few suggestions that should help you to develop a grandparent autism support group in your community:

• If you live in the same community as your children, ask them to identify other families with local grandparents and arrange to meet them.
• Join local chapters of national autism organizations, i.e. participate in your community’s Autism Speaks’ Walk Now or other autism organizations to meet other families.
• Contact hospitals, pediatricians, neurologists, autism service providers and special education teachers to determine if they know other grandparents. It is best to provide them with a simple, one page flyer with your contact information for them to distribute.
• Request a speaker from a local university or autism center to make a presentation on a topic of interest to grandparents.  Avoid engaging self-promoting speakers or endorsements for commercial products. See “Presentations Past” on this website for some topic ideas.
• Schedule a meeting in your home or in a local cost-free facility. Churches, synagogues, libraries, senior centers, non-profit organizations and school districts will be most likely to provide meeting sites for your group.

Here are additional ways you can advocate and expand support for the autism community:

Advocate for Autism

• Grandparents can help to eliminate social stigmas associated with autism.  Just disclosing that you have a family member with autism typically encourages other people to ask questions, learn more and increase their support for autism causes.
• Invite family members, friends, neighbors, co-workers and community philanthropic organizations (i.e. Rotary, Women’s Clubs, Business Networking Groups, etc.) to support advocacy and fund raising efforts for autism causes.
• Encourage local Parks and Recreation Departments and other community based agencies to provide programs and services for people with developmental disabilities.
• Advocate for autism legislation and funding for research, insurance, special education, employment opportunities, housing, transportation, and services that will increase the quality of life for those with autism. Help to develop needed lifetime supports and encourage acceptance and social integration for people with autism in your community.
• Do you own, work for or know of a business that could employ someone with autism?  Go here to learn more.

By Jennifer Krumins

Grandparents may give up easily when their grandchild expresses disinterest in an activity. Individuals with autism are built to resist novelty at first. Trying new things is not usually their forte. Expanding outside of their autistic world is not usually very comfortable either, but it is necessary. We grow as humans by facing fears and doing new things. We do not grow when we are comfortable. Self esteem is cultivated by pushing our limits, achieving goals and feeling success.  Parents can sometimes stifle their child’s ability to take a risk (it’s hard for them to stay calm, cool and collected). Grandparents, however, may have much more success in encouraging their grandchild to try new activities.

So how do we encourage kids with autism to try new activities?

• Provide two or three choices of activities and insist that the child choose one (provide visual information when possible and allow the child time to peruse and think)
• Prepare the visuals (timers, pictures schedule) to support the child
• Plan reinforcement!!! Motivation is KEY: What will the child earn by participating for 5 minutes? 10 minutes? (Show this visually in the form of tokens or a picture on a timer)
• Practice the skills that are a part of the activity individually (task analysis): social skills, gross motor skills and fine motor skills (reinforce practice attempts!)
• Choose activities that are more suited to kids with autism…team sports that require fast thinking, body contact and excellent eye/hand/body coordination are often too reliant on deficit areas
• Use the child’s special interests as a basis for the activity (but remember, you may not know what a child is interested in until they have tried a variety of things)
• Keep trying…if at first your grandchild is disinterested, try again later and then try again and again…kids change and preferences change
• Determine with the child, a preset amount of time that the child will try the activity

The following is a list of possible activities to look for in your community

• Boy Scouts/Brownies
• Special Olympics
• Bowling, lawn darts, bocci ball
• Swimming/ kayaking, canoeing
• Team sports: basketball, hockey, baseball, soccer
• Tennis, badminton
• Golf
• Dance (yes boys can do this too!), drums, guitar, singing
• Volunteer activities at parks, animal shelters, old age homes and zoos
• Skateboarding, water skiing, wakeboarding
• Chess club
• Drama club
• Environmental clubs
• Art classes

Keep the goal in mind: we are doing this as grandparents in order to build social competence, develop talents and abilities and broaden leisure activities. It is a sad fact that adults with autism suffer from low self esteem, lack of leisure time activities and depression. You can make a difference in your grandchild’s life by starting young. Build a propensity to try new things and to develop varied interests. Friendships are created when individuals have the experience of socializing and enjoying activities with others that share the interest. Self esteem blossoms when children feel a part of a group. Children that have skill sets are often more socially accepted by their peers. Well known, autistic individual, Temple Grandin asserts the need for children to be “engaged with the world: we cannot let them tune out.”

Grandchildren with autism need to develop skills, talents and abilities that are beyond their comfort zone. We owe it to them to promote activities and action that promote their growth as individuals.

Though it seems I look away
Don’t laugh at words that others say,
Turn from those who seem to stare
Believe me I still know you’re there.

A loving glance means naught to me
It is your presence that I see,
A soft and caring voice to hear
Calms and takes away my fear.

What I feel is hard to show
Maybe some will never know,
The special person that you see
The loving child I know as me.

Let me take your hand in mine
I’ll lead you if you take the time,
To love that dwells firm and deep
A gift from me for you to keep.

So share with me this time today
Do not leave until I say,
Stay ’til you know who I am
A loving gentle little man.

Copyright © 2008 by M. J. Nelson