By Bonnie Malkin Gillman, Founder

Every April people around the world raise awareness about autism. Global landmarks, businesses and homeowners are encouraged to light up their properties in blue and some people wear blue clothing to show their support for autism. April may be designated to inform the public about autism but our families cope with autism every day. I believe we can do more to increase support for our families.

As a grandparent, I suggest that we personally expand outreach in our communities and share information about autism whenever there are opportunities. Revealing to others that our families are affected by autism improves understanding and helps to eliminate the stigma some feel is associated with having a relative with autism. In my experience, sometimes just saying “autism” out loud in public draws interest, even from strangers who either have family members with autism or who are interested in learning more about how it impacts families. Speaking publicly about how our families are affected is a simple and effective way to encourage others to increase their understanding and support for autism year-round.

Laura Simmons-Martinez is the Technical Project Director at the Team of Advocates for Special Kids located in Anaheim, California. An expert in assistive technology, she recommends the following entertaining, educational and cost free applications and websites to share with your grandchildren. This information is from TASK’s monthly eNewsletter. To request a free subscription, send an email to task@taskca.org and enter “The Newsletter Add” in the subject line.

Summer is here, and it is time for summer school, summer camp or just plain summer fun! In any case, I wanted to share some FUN free apps and websites with you to help keep your kiddos entertained, and a couple of useful tools that may be helpful for grandparents, parents and professionals, as well.

Sensory Splodge 1: Fun for Infants and Kindergarten (by Sensory Apps, Ltd.)

Splodge and splatter paint effects, fish, butterflies and balloons on glowing backgrounds. Complete with funny sound effects. Splodge backgrounds include mirror, underwater, glowing sun and calming lava. This switch-accessible app is full of simple fun for infants, kindergarten, nursery and preschool kiddos as well as anyone learning cause and effect.

Funbrain, Jr. (by Pearson Education, Ltd.)

Funbrain, Jr. is a collection of unique and vibrant games for preschoolers and kindergarteners that helps jumpstart their journey of learning. Offering five separate fun and engaging games, Funbrain, Jr. introduces little learners to several important skills while they play. With the help of colorful and quirky Funbrain, Jr. characters, kids age two to six will love practicing skills in early literacy, math and problem solving. Funbrain, Jr. was created by the developers of the hugely popular Poptropica.com and Funbrain.com, providing quality content to millions of children.

Ginger Page: Writing Compass, Translator and Dictionary (by Ginger Software)

Get maximum coverage with Ginger Page, the ultimate writing app! Perfect your writing and enjoy exciting new features with Ginger Page! Ginger will easily upgrade your text to high quality English while you’re communicating through messaging, e-mails and social writing. This FREE app does all this:

• World’s #1 proofreader: use this contextually aware proofreader to correct your punctuation, grammar and spelling.
• Translations: translate your text between 40 different languages.
• Advanced rephrasing: discover alternate ways to write your text.
• Dictionary: contextual synonyms and definitions.
• Share your text: easily export your text to any writing or social app.

Ginger Page is available for iDevices and also via Google Play (for Android devices).

Kindle App Adds WhisperSync for Voice on iOS and Android

Amazon’s Kindle app for iOS and Android (via Google Play) was recently updated to integrate audio books from Audible. The update, which is available for free, allows users to seamlessly switch between reading the Kindle text version of a book and listening to the Audible audio version of the book. The new feature even allows users to listen to the audio book while following along with the text version. Audio speaking rate can be increased or decreased according to user preference.

Helpful websites: Loop, Swoop, HELP! Top 10 Resources for Shoe-Tying Smart Apps for Special Needs has done it again with this informative article listing apps, websites and other great resources for shoe-tying. SwiftTips SwiftTips are great-looking, useful, printable tip sheets. They have 41 tips that you print for home, office and school. They make these by hand for you to print, post somewhere visible, and reference again and again! Categories include clothing and accessories, automotive, academic, cleaning guides, kitchen charts and more! Great for learning life skills! Funbrain, Jr.This website features fun games, stories, printables and more. Funbrain, Jr. (“A Fun Place to Learn”) helps preschoolers and kindergarteners jumpstart their journey of learning with engaging games, stories and printables. Kids love playing and learning with Funbrain, Jr., and you’ll love that they’re building math, early literacy and problem-solving skills while also developing important computer skills. Turtle Diary What is Turtle Diary? It’s a unique collection of interactive and fun educational games. Children learn important concepts that focus on specific skills that are challenging yet age-appropriate. Games and activities are created by well-qualified teachers and educators who believe that learning should be easy and fun. The concepts are reinforced with the help of fun and educational activities.

In case you or your kiddos need to work on keyboarding skills this summer, here are some free sites: Typing Games This site has a lot of games to learn keyboarding. Typing Club The Typing Club site is a keyboarding instruction site that works on one progressive lesson at a time. Learning Games for Kids The Learning Games for Kids site has 21 different games to teach keyboarding!

Next up are a couple of must-see videos:

Breaking the Ice: A Delightful Introductory Video about Talking with Someone Who Uses Augmentative Communication

Life with a speech-generating device is challenging enough, but more so when people don’t know how to approach you. Using his DynaVox Maestro, DynaVox consumer representative Rick Hohn shares his wisdom on breaking the ice with people.

I Like the Way I Think: Temple Grandin on Working with Autism

A seven-minute interview with Temple Grandin, who talks about her book, The Autistic Brain, and how people with autism think differently. Very interesting and insightful!

The Helping Hand

This video features the story of a boy named Daniel who helped design his own prosthetic arm!

Donna Furon is the grandmother of twin boys, who were diagnosed with autism in 1998. The boys will be 18 this year. She and her husband, Marc, are active in their lives, spending most Saturdays with the boys and helping in other ways. Donna has been involved with GAN for several years, and helps with the FANInfo site. She worked for 24 years for The California State University System, and retired from her last position as the Project Director of data warehousing, and then worked for several years as a consultant.

My twin grandsons were diagnosed as autistic at 25 months. My husband and I found out the day before we were leaving on vacation. One grandson is graduating from high school this year and is “high-functioning.” The other is verbal and lower-functioning, and will be in a transition service and get a “certificate” eventually.

Labor Day, 1998

“What did the doctor say? I was waiting for your call and didn’t hear from you.”

“Well, Mom, we were going to wait until you were back from vacation …”
“Tell me now.”
“The doctor said the boys are autistic.”
Autistic. Rainman. Can’t be … Why them? Why us? What should we do?
Hours of searching on the Internet and a flight to catch in the AM to start … a VACATION?

ABA .. behavioral diagnosis .. diet … vaccines .. sleepless night.
From my blog, http://gpautism.blogspot.com

What to say, what to do, where to start – oh my! Frantic – that’s how I’d describe those first days. Maybe a little denial. A lot of “there must be something we can do.” There are many things you can do – but as of now, nothing will change the diagnosis. There is no cure. You, your adult child, and your grandchild are starting on a journey.

Your expectations will change. That child, whom you secretly thought could become President someday – well, maybe he (and 4 out of 5 are boys) will; but you will find that achieving a communication link with your grandchild will be your new expectation – and you will celebrate it like no other celebration you ever observed.

Actually, let’s change the start of that last paragraph to “Everything will change.”

There is a very high divorce rate among parents of autistic kids. I don’t know if there is a statistical analysis, but my anecdotal observation is that one parent gets in a race car and makes the child the focus of his/her attention, and the other parent is left in the dust. And that does not make a good marriage partnership. Autism is extremely hard on parents – so the first thing you can do is support the parents.

What is “supporting the parents”? It can be many things. You need to decide what you can do, based on your own status (physically, mentally and fiscally). I’ll ask you to do something very hard – think long-term. Don’t use all your energy and/or money up in a short period of time. Here are some obvious things you can consider doing, based on your own circumstances:

• Don’t take sides. Be on your grandchild’s side.
• Give time. Are there other kids? Take them for special outings or just for time with you. They are likely to get so much less of their parents’ time now. Find some books and/or online resources that help them understand – to the extent they are able – what is happening.
• Learn all you can about autism – but more importantly, learn all you can about your grandson or granddaughter. There is no set treatment for autism. There are some behavioral techniques that are usually successful (e.g., ABA) – but how successful depends on the child.
• Offer information if you learn something new, and accept – as you must with all your grandchildren – that their parents are the decision makers. Support their decisions.
• Take on some tasks. Right now for example, I am helping get information about disabled student services community colleges, so my daughter-in-law can focus on conservancies and other matters. You can be a valuable resource to your grandchild’s parents.
• Get to know your autistic grandchild. Learn what his triggers are. Learn what you can do to help him. Learn how to deal with behaviors. Learn what works. Don’t be afraid to try something you think of – and if it works, share it! Learn from the ABA specialists and the parent the best ways to interact with your child.
• Accept that you may do as much as you can, and then twice more – and your grandchild may never say, “Thank you” or acknowledge you in any way.
• Give money if you can. If you have more than a little money that you think you would like to use to help, consult a financial advisor as to the best way to provide support and still protect your own position.
• Don’t take things personally, from your own adult child or your grandchild. They are under enormous stress and pressure, and may say things because they are exhausted and frustrated.
• It would be lovely if we could all be perfect and work in harmony towards the same goals and share the burden equally. It won’t happen. And we can and should just try our best.

You are on a journey. You worked hard and planned well, bought tickets and negotiated hotel rates. You did it all right. And in spite of that, the destination just changed. You are going somewhere else. You can’t rewind and start over. There is great sorrow and also great joy ahead. Pace yourself. Stay strong. Stay involved. Love all your grandchildren. Love yourself. Cut yourself some slack. That is my best advice.

By Debora Smith

We parents know the vital role grandparents play in the lives of our kids with autism spectrum disorders [ASDs]. They provide patience and understanding, unconditional love and in many cases they help with child care, finances and health care. Studies have even found that as many as one in three grandparents may have noticed autistic-like behaviors in their grandchildren prior to diagnosis. This additional support is invaluable to us.

But not all grandparents live close by. My folks are snowbirds from Michigan-fortunately for my son, they come out to California and live for three months in the winter. My son loves every minute of it.

Over the years, my parents have learned that their grandson requires a few extras from grandma and grandpa-like a mega-dose of perseverance and an uber-willingness to plan ahead to prepare him for what’s coming next. And as they’ve learned about him and his way of being, it has been a special joy of mine to watch my mom and dad as they teach others about autism.

It should come as no surprise that researchers classify diverse forms of grandparenting that include everything from the mentor, nurturer and role model to the hero, playmate and wizard. And these classifications hold whether you live across town or across the country.

Those of you who are ‘long-distance’ grandparents may think you play a lesser role, but that doesn’t have to be the case.

Here are eight fun ways to stay in touch with your grandkids-you may be surprised to find that you’ll be indirectly helping your children, as well.

1. SOCIAL SECURITY-If you feel secure enough to venture into social media, communicate using the Internet. Truly, it’s not that difficult, as more than half of adults over 65 are online these days. From texting and email to Facebook [FB] and instant messaging, the opportunities are endless. My dad constantly comments on my teenager’s FB posts and his encouragement has such a positive impact. You can also agree on a time to call your grandchild’s cell phone-or simply call on the home phone-but schedule it. Make a big deal about it. Have “news” and questions ready for an older child; for a young one, keep it simple. And be prepared to listen.

2. YOU’VE GOT MAIL-Who doesn’t love to get mail? Never underestimate the power of a good old-fashioned letter. It doesn’t even have to be long-just a few sentences. I’ve kept some notes my parents sent to my son when he was younger-with pictures or comics they thought he’d enjoy. We treasure these! Postcards are fun, too. Send regularly just to say you’re thinking of them. You can even send a packet of self-addressed and stamped postcards for the kids to write/draw on and send back to you.

3. WHAT’S ALL THE HYPE ABOUT SKYPE?-First of all, it’s free! All you need is a computer and a webcam and you can place a video call. This beats the plain old telephone call any day because you get actual face time-and for families separated by miles, there’s nothing better.

4. ONCE UPON A TIME-Every kid enjoys having a loved one read aloud his favorite book. This is not just for grandparents who live nearby. You can do this via Skype. Or you can record yourself (audio/video/both) reading the child’s beloved story-and mail it to him, along with a handmade bookmark or a photo of you.

5. SHARE AN INTEREST, PERIODICALLY-Another way to thrill the grandkids with mail is to buy them a subscription to a special magazine-and ask them to call, Skype or email you each time a new issue arrives. Invite them to tell you about the page they liked best.

6. PICTURE THIS-Send a disposable camera and ask your grandchild to take pictures of herself, her family, friends, pets and favorite things to do. Get the parents to mail the camera back to you. You can develop the photos and make a little album to send as a gift-or bring it with you on your next visit. You and your grandchild can spend time together while she explains each photo.

7. CELEBRATE THE DAY-Nowadays there’s an “awareness day” for practically everything. Did you know that June 21 is National Flip Flop Day? Bet you didn’t know that July 28 is National Day of the Cowboy! All it takes is knowing what your grandkid likes and this website address: http://www.national-awareness-days.com and you’ll be ‘in the know.’ Share this site with the parents and get their input. Your grandkids will be delightfully surprised and they’ll be left wondering, “How did Grandma know…?” when you send them a card or email noting the special day. Or kick it up a notch and send your grandchild a copy of “Matilda” by Roald Dahl on September 13-Roald Dahl Day, of course!

8. SAY CHEESE!-Every time you are together with your grandchild(ren), take lots of photos, for sure, but always take a certain identical pose. For example, a picture of you and your grandchild sitting together reading, talking, eating, laughing. Whatever. The child will always know what it looks like to be with you. Frame the photos so they can surround him. If you do this each time you’re together, the child will “grow up with you” in the pictures. Both you and he will enjoy them.

Down the block or thousands of miles away, we couldn’t do it without you-the mentors and nurturers, role models and heroes, playmates and wizards. Nana and poppa, gram and gramps, whatever you are called, you are a wonderful asset in our lives. From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for everything.

By Jennifer Krumins

Sometimes amidst our grief, we can lose sight of gifts that are easily unobserved if we do not endeavor to recognize them. Kids with autism are such gifts. This is a great time of year to reflect on what gifts and blessings a child with autism may just have given us.

A child with autism taught me to reach beyond what I thought I was capable of doing.

The gift is revealed as you open yourself to be the student. The child will lead if you allow yourself to be lead. The child will push you to new limits, if you allow yourself to grow professionally and personally. Children with autism have given me the will to learn more, to read more, to take courses, to make phone calls and to be tenacious, persistent and collaborative. We do not know the strength we have until we are given it and it isn’t until we are swimming for our lives that the lifesaver arrives. My son and the children I teach have forced me to stretch every inch of comfort level and reach into the realm of REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE. When we open ourselves, these kids can make us grow stronger, more capable and more self confident.

A child with autism taught me to live in the present.

Many times I have been hurrying off to some ‘important’ event or errand only to be forced to wait while a child examines the intricate details of a leaf, sniffs a brick wall or explores the feel of sand in his hands. These children often have little care for time; rather they are drawn to the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of the world within their immediate grasp. I have learned to stop and take notice of those things that intrigue our friends with autism. Although I still avoid sniffing walls, I have learned to look more deeply into the present moment and to be thankful for it rather than rush past it in order to get to something ‘important.’

A child with autism taught me to re-evaluate my meaning of success.

I have learned that our productivity doesn’t make us loveable; we already are. Our happiness in life doesn’t have to rest on education credentials, financial gain and material prosperity; if it did happiness would elude many humans! Children with challenges have taught me that our purpose lies in what we bring to others; how we enrich the lives of those who know us… and those who don’t. It is about developing our unique gifts, striving to be the best we can be and being at peace with who we are.  A child confined to a wheelchair, unable to do anything that the world considers useful, is able, just in her mere presence, to emanate love.  She is a child so vulnerable and yet so free of jealousy, suspicion, distrust, greed and competition.

The world may not recognize or even understand the sweet success of a verbal request for juice, the matching of an item with the written word, or the exhilaration of a kiss or a hug from a child who has never reached out to another. The world may never know the sweet joy that comes with a skill that is finally mastered. Life is full of little celebrations that make it rich and rewarding. In our rush to get ahead many of us miss those moments.

This Christmas I offer my deepest gratitude to those children that have autism and other special needs. Thank you for being such patient teachers. Thank you for leading us.

The Value of Affirmations

Our thoughts and our words tell us something about who we say we are and what we believe to be true. Sadly, the power of negative self talk is all too common: “I can’t do that.” “I am not smart enough.” Anyone working with or raising children knows that these thoughts and words can actually create self defeat in learning a new skill. The Little Engine That Could taught us to repeat, “I think I can, I think I can.” He was smart. That little engine knew the power of positive affirmations. Strong, positive affirmations are a powerful way to replace any ideas of limitations and negative self talk that have been internalized over the years.

Repeating an affirmation is inspiring, self affirming and powerful. World class athletes, business leaders and celebrities repeat them daily, so why wouldn’t you? Isn’t it time to start building yourself up? Individuals with autism and those who care about them need to create a strong sense of capability and self worth in order to develop potential in others and in themselves! Okay, so now, repeat after me…

Affirmation: I will take the time to reflect on the gifts that a child with special needs has given me. I will be aware that I am the student and sometimes a child will lead me. I am grateful for small celebrations that bring joy to seemingly mundane events and situations.

Did you say it with feeling? Say it again with more confidence. One more time with all of the power and confidence your voice can convey! Keep saying it throughout the day!

Something to Think About….

“If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day.”  Alex Noble

“Constant repetition carries conviction.”  Robert Collier

By Joyce Crawford

When Andrew was a baby,
He cried during the day
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew likes to play with lights
He turns them off and on like day and  night
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew lines his cars up in a nice, straight row
Don’t move one, or he’ll say “NO”!!
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Some of Andrew’s cars make sounds,
He likes to watch the wheels go ’round
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew doesn’t like to eat too much,
Only some things, like bacon and such
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Sometimes, Andrew doesn’t talk during play
And he’s learning how and what to say
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

There’s lots of classes and therapy,
Lots of play with teachers and lot’s to see
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

When Andrew goes potty, it’s true
He takes off pants, shirt and even a shoe!
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

When there are lots of kids, Andrew may go off alone,
He has his own special comfort zone,
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew doesn’t like to hug too much
But he gives great smiles and a little touch
And That’s Okay,
That’s Andrew’s Way

Andrew is our gift from above,
We thank God for him and his love
And That’s okay,
Because we love him more and more each day!!