If you find that your grandchild has a problem modulating their voice, or engages in squealing or other noises in public places. Teach the child the difference between indoor voice and outdoor voice. Make sure to correct them each time, by saying: “Johnny, use your quiet voice inside”. If there is no change in their behavior, face the child, hold them by the wrists and then repeat. If the child becomes louder or gets upset, hug them and tell them they are OK and then repeat about using quiet voice. Don’t worry about the looks or comments you get from people around you. If you keep the child at home or in the car all the time, they will not learn how to behave in the community. It is their anxiety which makes them act like that. If you give in to their fears, they will never learn and never get over their fears. The sooner you start, the sooner they will be comfortable and you will have a happier and more engaged grandchild.

You may find that your grandchild has no concept of turn taking. Turn taking is very important in walking with other people, conversation and playing games.

Walking side by side is something we all take for granted. It is a skill that develops naturally in most people – not our grandkids. You will find them falling behind or wandering off somewhere. This is because they are lost in their own thoughts and do not pay attention to what goes on around them. This game is a fun way to train turn taking in walking.

Use a hallway or some other place like a narrow sidewalk at the park on a quiet day. You tell your grandchild that you will be playing “follow the leader”. Explain that you will be the leader and they have to walk next to you. Have them copy your steps while saying: “left, right, left right”.

When they get the concept, tell them that now they are going to be the leader, and you will follow their steps exactly. Then you will be the leader again, and they have to follow. Then the grandchild will be the leader, etc. When I use the word follow in this paragraph, I mean that they are to walk next to you – not behind you. Once they get the game, you can practice many more times, and eventually practice it every time you are out in the community.

If you have a grandchild who is hyper-talkative and will talk on and on without paying attention whether anyone is listening, you have to teach them, to say three sentences and then stop and wait for a comment from whoever they are talking to. If you do not teach this skill, your grandchild will be able to “talk at people”, but not to people. These are the children who gravitate toward adults because adults will tolerate this behavior, but the other kids will not and will avoid your grandchild. As you work with them on this skill of conversation, you will notice that they have a tendency to go back to their favorite topic or “lecture” when they are nervous and do not know what is expected of them.

Your grandchild’s life will be frustrating if they do not learn to ask for help. I would teach this skill even if they cannot use language. Have them practice in the grocery store. For example, if they cannot find the milk, teach them to identify the employees, and ask; “where is the milk?” or have them point to their milk picture on their shopping list. Then help your grandchild to understand the answer. If they employee says, “It’s in the back of the store”, or “Next aisle over,” teach the child what this means. Then practice those phrases many more times.

If they have to go to the restroom, have them ask: “Where is the restroom?” Then help them understand the answer. Many people will simply point in a direction. Your grandchild will not pay attention to the pointing, unless you tell them ahead of time to pay attention if the person is pointing in a certain direction.